I’ve wanted to write about our adoption but I haven’t been able to get the words out. I’ve been journaling… which I almost never do… writing things that I probably won’t ever say here… but I’ve struggled with what to share online. Lately it feels as if not writing about it is preventing me from writing anything else at all.
It was therapeutic when I finally wrote publicly about our struggle with secondary infertility. I honestly don’t know why I kept it a “secret” for so long other than it felt too sacred; like something that could only be carried between me and James. We didn’t even tell our families until we were at the point of trying different (unsuccessful) treatments.
Now that Ian is here, in all of his two-year-old glory, the pain and heartache of trying to get him here has dissipated. He is an immeasurable joy and light in my life. No doubt I love my girls to the ends of the Earth, but I don’t know how I ever lived without that precious little mama’s boy. I’m glad I wrote about those hard years because it allows me to look back on all of the ways that God faithfully reminded me that He is in control and that His plan is always better.
I’ve been hesitant to write this next chapter because, once again, it all feels a little too sacred to share. James and I have been carrying this story with delicate and intentional hearts for a few years now (actually since we were pregnant with Ian) and it’s hard to let others into that space. One thing God has been reminding me of lately is that HE has been carrying this story for eternity. There is no surprising God.
While I’ve been holding back from sharing our story, I also remember how in the beginning of the process I was obsessed with reading other families’ adoption stories online. That’s my intention with sharing our story now: to write my truth in hopes that it may serve someone else but mostly so that it may be a reminder for myself that I am already a part of the greatest adoption story of all time.
In love he predestined us for adoption to himself as sons through Jesus Christ, according to the purpose of his will… Ephesians 1:5
If you’re new here and missed our small announcement on Instagram: We are currently adopting a little boy from South Korea. The process takes about 18-36 months, so we anticipate that he will be around two-years-old when he comes home. Read more about “Why Korea?” in this post.