Why would you ever want to adopt?
… when you could just have more children biologically?
… when you already have three kids to provide for?
… when you could spend $50,000 in so many other ways- even to help more than one child?
I get it. I was there once. I, myself, couldn’t understand why anyone would say “yes” to adoption when it seemed corrupt at worst and broken at best. God has since, patiently and lovingly, turned my fear and ignorance to peace. He consistently reminds me that faith will move mountains and doubt will create them.
But this is where I draw the line- Why would you want to adopt?
… when you are only asking for heartache?
… when you are negatively impacting your family for generations to come?
… when you are fools to believe you can take this on in the first place?”
We aren’t buying in to the agenda of Hollywood, nor are we a victim of the supposed “orphan-fever Evangelical movement” of our generation. (If we’re pointing fingers, wasn’t it Jesus that made adoption “trendy” in the first place? Not to mention Moses… Esther… Ephesians 1:5… Romans 8:15…)
Adoption wasn’t something we sought out. It wasn’t laid on my heart at an early age, or even something James and I discussed at length when dating. The only personal references we had of adoption in our own families were stories of secrecy and shame decades before. Only after the span of a few years and the undeniable hand of God did we start to see adoption as a part of our story.
I loved Shel Silverstein as a child and am reminded of this poem:
There is a voice inside of you
That whispers all day long,
“I feel that this is right for me,
I know that this is wrong.”
No teacher, preacher, parent, friend
Or wise man can decide
What’s right for you— just listen to
The voice that speaks inside.
Nobody else gets to decide what the Holy Spirit is whispering to me. Nor does anyone else get to judge me or tell me I’m wrong for listening. You can have your opinions; but if those opinions are not based on biblical facts and truth, then I challenge you to take a good, hard look at that before you try to change my understanding of what I’m trying to do.
In the book of James we learn that we should be doers of the word and follow [the whispers of] the Holy Spirit to action. That it’s when we act upon the word of God that we receive the blessings of God. God doesn’t NEED me to adopt this child. God’s divine plan won’t come to an end if I choose not to obey. Instead, I am the one that misses out on being a part of it. (James goes on to warn in 4:17 that “whoever knows the right thing to do and fails to do it, for him it is sin.”)
Our decision to adopt is more than blind obedience, though. At the end of the day, we want another child, and rather than have another biologically (especially after our journey though secondary infertility), we are choosing to answer the call of growing our family through adoption. The idea that there is a little boy out there without someone to rock him to sleep at night or celebrate his birthdays, to tell him over and over again just how wanted and loved and cherished he is, just absolutely breaks my heart.
This morning I was smothering Ian with kisses in the kitchen while James made us breakfast. Like, back off crazy lady, let the poor kid breathe, smothering. It’s often in those joyful moments that the whispers tug at my heart for the kids that aren’t being smothered with kisses from their mama. I may not be my youngest son’s first mama, but I can be the mama that promises to kiss his cheeks until they’re red.
When trying to get pregnant with Ian, I very clearly heard the Lord reassure me to “Be still.” (Psalm 46:10) Now, as we move mountains to bring Eli home, I very clearly hear His command to “Be strong.” (Ephesians 6:10)